So I called Cingular to double-check when my contract was up so I could switch my cell phone service to another carrier, and I spent about 30 minutes on the phone with this lady who couldn’t tell me anything about my account…
Her: I need your account password in order to do anything on your account.
Me: I didn’t set a password.
Her: Someone did.
Me: Well it wasn’t me.
Her: Do you want to try and guess it?
Me: Not really, but if you want to sit here all day with me, I guess we could go through every possible password in the universe.
Her: You can always request to have the password taken off the account.
Me: Okay, I’m making that request now.
Her: You need to write a letter with your account number and social security number on it and mail it in.
Me: Does it have to be notarized or something so you know it’s me?
Her: No.
Me: How about I just give you that info over the phone then?
Her: I can’t do that.
Me: Why not?
Her: Because you might not be you.
Me: But a letter proves it’s me?
Her: Hmmm, I guess not.
Me: So you can’t tell me anything about my account without this secret password, but I can make a payment?
Her: Right.
Me: What if I don’t want someone else to make a payment on my account?
Her: They would be able to.
Me: So you’re telling me I can get into my bank account by them verifying info about me, but not my cell phone?
Her: Yes.
Me: Well that’s dumb, don’t you think?
Her: Kind of, yes.
Me: At least we agree on that. What if I just want to cancel my service right now?
Her: You can’t cancel your service without the password.
Me: Okay, so the only way to stop my service if I don’t know this password is to just stop paying the bill?
Her: Well, your phone would be shut off for non-payment, but you still would be billed your monthly charges going forward.
Me: For how long?
Her: Forever.
Me: Hahaha… so I can’t cancel my service, I can’t see anything on my account or anything else because someone put a password lock on my account?
Her: Right.
Me: That’s kind of funny… {looking on website at the same time} Okay, I found a place on your website where I can log into my account with my secret password, so I guess I’ll write a script that just tries every possible password.
Her: Well if you get the wrong one 4 times, it will lock your whole account and you will have to call to get it unlocked.
Me: Well I guess I’ll try that… thanks.
{trying random passwords until my account is locked and call customer service back and get a different guy}
Me: Hey man, I need to get my account unlocked because I’m trying to hack my account since I don’t know what the password is and I failed too many times.
Him: {looking at my account} Your password is the last 4 digits of your social security number. Probably someone entering your account into our system added it by accident. I’ll just take the password off your account.
Me: Sweet thanks. By the way, when does my contract expire?
Him: The 20th of this month.
Me: Thanks, bye.
The first person I talked to was funny to talk to, but could have saved a lot of time if I got the other guy first. ๐