This guy is lonely… 🙁
I need true, real, good friend.
That’s the entire email… nothing else. Maybe if you would tell me a little about yourself, your desires in life or whatever else, I could be your one true, real, good friend.
Monthly Archives: March 2006
I Can Drive A Golf Ball?
Uhm… something strange happened tonight. Julien and I went to the driving range to hit some golf balls… and much to both of our amazement, we were both able to hit the ball relatively well with our drivers (this pretty much was a first for both of us). What in the hell happened? Must be something in the water.
That’s the good news… the bad news is I lost $34 to him in our “pitching challenge”… probably because he cheats somehow.
Marriage Contraact
Dude, this guy is whacky… This is a marriage contract he drew up for his wife to sign (she never did of course)…
When we are at home, and alone as a family, you will be naked within 20 minutes of the kids being in bed, and then sleep naked, unless otherwise instructed.
View all pages (4 total) of contract
WTF Is This Guy Doing?
Maybe I’m stupid, but can someone please explain what kind of diagram this could possibly be for?
Unregistering A Domain
Apparently it’s possible to “unregister” a domain somehow… because someone registered shawnhogan.com 2 months ago, and today it was available for registration. So whatever, I registered it.
The Coldplay / Magic Numbers Ninja
Okay… it wasn’t a ninja that broke into my house to put Coldplay and Magic Numbers on my iTunes like I had previously thought.
I got a full confession from Bobby this afternoon.
Although it was worth it, because he was the one that turned me on to Mylo, Röyksopp and Gorillaz… so all is forgiven. 🙂
Random Email #7
Apparently I’m also a nutritionist now…
MY BODY IS VERY SLIM AND MY BODY WEIGHT IS VERY LOW.
I HAVE TO INCREASE BODY WEIGHT THEN WAHT CA I DO .
I HAVE TO INCREASE BODY WEIGHT THEN WAHT CA I DO .
Eat a bowl of mayonnaise for breakfast… that should help you gain some weight.
Two Second Shirt Folding
Those crazy Chinese are always innovating! 🙂
Random Email #6
What the hell is this person sending me this for?
Have a list of Credit Card numbers, CVV numbers, phone numbers and addresses of American and British citizens. Have got these from BPOs. Let me know if youre interested.
Uhm… do I look like the credit card fraud auction center to you dude? I don’t even know what a BPO is. I don’t think you are allowed to use other people’s credit cards without their permission, so what good would a bunch of other people’s credit cards do for me? Nada.
iPod AV Pictures?
Not sure if these are fakes of the forthcoming iPod AV or not, but if they are real, I’m gonna have to get one of these things.
If they are fake, they are pretty well done.
Natalie Portman Gangsta Rap
From Saturday Night Live… 🙂
Looks like another Andy Samberg creation… he was an excellent cast addition IMO.
I Won A Round Of Golf
Oh man, I’m awesome. I beat Julien at golf yesterday who pretty much is the best golfer I’ve ever heard of.
I rock! (this is the first round of golf I’ve ever won BTW… hehe)
Chiefing
Dude, if this happened to me, someone would have to die (literally).
Real Life Simpsons
Someone went through a lot of trouble to recreate the Simpson’s opening sequence… 🙂
MySQL 5.1 Out Of Alpha
With version 5.1.7, MySQL 5.1 (which is something I’m [not] patiently waiting for) has gone from alpha to beta status.
The stuff I’m really looking forward to is it’s improvements to the NDB Cluster engine…
- Disk Data tables (before NDB Cluster required everything to be memory-resident)
- Integration of MySQL Cluster and MySQL replication
- Variable sized records
Now hurry up through the beta phases! 🙂
The only thing (that I can think of) that MySQL Cluster will be lacking for 5.1 is support for FULLTEXT indexes… not a deal breaker though since you will be able to replicate to a MyISAM to get a FULLTEXT indexed table. Should see it in MySQL 5.2 though (hopefully). Oh, and the ability to alter live tables sure would be nice.
Golf Clubs
As of today, I finally got my own golf clubs.
Now if I can just figure out how to actually hit the ball with the club without whiffing it, we’ll be all set…… 🙂
Coldplay and The Magic Numbers
How in the F did Coldplay and Magic Numbers sneak into my iTunes/iPod? Somehow I have the full albums! They have been there for like 6 months, and been to lazy to delete those albums (they do suck). Coldplay are a bunch of whiney bitches.
I think someone broke into my house and put that crap on my iTunes.
I’m A Cowboy!
After playing some frisbee gold yesterday, Julien, Jay and Paul dragged me to Incahoots (a cowboy bar/line dancing place) because on Thursday, you can get a steak, potato and beer for $5.95. Not a bad deal even if it was a crappy steak… but amazingly enough it was actually a pretty good steak too.
Steak, Spuds, & Suds – Enjoy a sizzling steak, baked potato & ice cold draft beer from 5:00-9:00 p.m. for only $5.95.
The best part about it though is it’s an absolute requirement of this place to have your shirt tucked in (out of respect for the cowgirls)… So we were looking pretty good with our t-shirts tucked in. Especially me because I had shorts on. 🙂
But whatever… I guess $5.95 for dinner and beer is worth looking stupid, so I’ll be there next week! 😉
(this isn’t us, just a picture from their site)
Making Kids Cry
I saw this a couple weeks ago and forgot to post it on my blog, so a little late is better than never I suppose. 🙂
What a nice dad… make your kid cry (and probably crap his pants) and videotape it for your viewing pleasure. haha
Video iPod and Apple Movie Store Update
When Apple finally rolls this out (in the next 2 months hopefully), it’s going to be damn cool! Hopefully no need to buy DVDs anymore.
//www.thinksecret.com/news/0603videoipod.html
//www.thinksecret.com/news/0603movies.html
Hopefully they also will come out with an AirPort Express that can do video (current one only can stream audio).
Snowboarder Hitting Head
Uhm, would this hurt? He almost lands it too. heh
Freakin Brothers
Not much to say about this one… just watch it.
Voice Controlled Blender (Blendie)
Okay, this is kind of odd… this is a blender you scream at to make it work. 🙂 (link to blueprint)
People induce the blender to spin by sounding the sounds of its motor in action. A person may growl low pitch blender-like sounds to get it to spin slow (Blendie pitch and power matches the person) and the person can growl blender-style at higher pitches to speed up Blendie. The experience for the participant is to speak the language of the machine and thus to more deeply understand and connect with the machine. The action may also bring about personal revelations in the participant. The participant empathizes with Blendie and in this new approach to a domestic appliance, a conscious and personally meaningful relationship is facilitated.
Check How Much You Pay For Crap
Geez man… I’ve been paying $140/month for my 6Mbit DSL line from SBC for years. Today I ran across something that shows 6Mbit DSL lines from SBC are $44.99/month with a 1 year contract or $59.99 if you pay month to month.
So I called them and asked what the difference was between my $140/month DSL and their $45/month DSL… Uhm, nothing is different… only the price.
“Gee, can I get the cheaper price then?”
“Sure, let me change if for you.”
“Am I going to have any downtime?”
“No, it’s a price change only. Your service will be exactly the same and won’t be affected.”
Nice… so I overpaid them like $2,000 in the last 2 years. haha Oh well…
Bra Simulator
I know this is supposed to be a serious thing for selling sports bras… and that being said, I can’t help but crack up over this thing. hehe
//www.shockabsorber.co.uk/bounceometer/shock.html
I’m so immature. 🙂