Spider Bottlecap Nearly Killed Me

…so as I’m going through the {cough, cough} 2+ years of comments I never got around to moderating on this blog, I came across one that is freaking me out.


Dr. Finch seems to think I have some gnarley spider bite that needs immediate doctor attention and my life is in danger.

I think he missed this part about this post… lol


“Okay, okay… it was from me trying to open a beer bottle with my bare hands last night at poker.”

Thank God is all I have to say… if it were otherwise, I might be the first person to die from not moderating their blog comments fast enough.

One thought on “Spider Bottlecap Nearly Killed Me”

  1. Besides the fact that you cannot identify a spider by its bite, and that the spider mentioned does not exist… I would say he had a fairly awesome point… for a retard.

    In fact, if a spider left two holes like that it would have had to have been a Mygalomorph or a large spider in the Mesothelae suborder – and they lack venom glands. Besides, the only medically significant Mygalomorphs (of which there are thousands of species) are the Mouse Spiders and the Funnel Web spiders (Atrax Robustus being the most dangerous, but they live in Australia).

    Unless you’re allergic to bees and wasps, you’re not likely to die from any other Mygalomorph, although some may have a nasty bite.

    But to get tagged by one… you have to f**k with it and piss it off first.

    In fact, they’re probably safer than opening a beer bottle with your bare hands considering the possibility of bacterial infections from the cap being in unsanitary conditions at the bottling plant. Rat feces being one of the worst combos you can think of – but you would have known that within the week.

    Ramble ramble ramble.

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