Chuck Norris Facts

What’s the deal with Chuck Norris lately? I seem to run across his name everywhere these days…

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  • Crop circles are Chuck Norris’ way of telling the world that sometimes corn needs to lie the fuck down.
  • The Great Wall of China was originally created to keep Chuck Norris out. It failed misserably.
  • There is no theory of evolution, just a list of creatures Chuck Norris allows to live.
  • When Chuck Norris sends in his taxes, he sends blank forms and includes only a picture of himself, crouched and ready to attack. Chuck Norris has not had to pay taxes ever.
  • Chuck Norris drives an ice cream truck covered in human skulls.
  • Chuck Norris does not hunt because the word hunting infers the probability of failure. Chuck Norris goes killing.
  • In fine print on the last page of the Guinness Book of World Records it notes that all world records are held by Chuck Norris, and those listed in the book are simply the closest anyone else has ever gotten.
  • There is no chin behind Chuck Norris’ beard. There is only another fist.

3 thoughts on “Chuck Norris Facts”

  1. They seem to have changed the language on the site. I remember that the fact now listed as – Chuck Norris’ tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried. Ever.

    Originally was – Chuck Norris’ tears cure cancer. But he is such a badass that he has never cried.

    A Legal threat from Mr. Norris might have done the trick. 😛

  2. chuck norris has 31 scents of farts, all of basken robins 31 flavors were named afer them. so if you like basken robins you like chuck norris’s fart dont worry i do to

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