Category Archives: Uncategorized

Random Email #24

Here’s an email I just got…

Please provide the LINE OF SUCCESSION to real property of a deceased who died without leaving a Will. Two sons – one deceased; one living.

I’m not really sure why anyone would mistake me for an estate lawyer, but uhm… apparently word is out that I moonlight as legal counsel. πŸ™‚ I would guess the deceased son probably isn’t really high up on the line of succession… but that’s just a guess.

Random Email #23

An email I got today (the whole thing)…

I need spam! I am testing my e-mail and I need someone to send me tons of it!

What kind of whacko *wants* spam? If there was a way I could send you all my spam, you certainly would be welcome to it, but I’m not going to sift through and manually send you the 50,000 or so spams I get per month, sorry. πŸ™‚


You know what’s an awesome feeling? When you have one of those nights when you play some poker and you can’t be beaten. πŸ™‚

It’s fun when you dominate poker night (especially since it happens far and few between for me).

Wow, I’m A Dork.

I guess it goes in waves… because last December, I was just saying I need to be more dorky. Well, I just looked over my blog from the last few weeks, and it seems I’ve inadvertently become very good at that… with all the, “blade servers this… MySQL that… load balancers this…” stuff.

The new servers and equipment are going to be installed tomorrow, so hopefully maybe I’ll have something a little less dorky to write about soon. Hmmm… maybe once the servers are in place, I’ll break down their cardboard boxes and have a break dancing contest on them. That’s the kind of stuff that cool kids do, right?

Random Email #21

Another random email (in it’s entirety)…

Someone stole my company, why I was a way.We move El Tigere’ Paint and Body. Money opened it ,my contacts,my account’s. They still using my tax I.D.# and my credit but the bills are coming to me. My DBA

What in the hell? How did someone “steal” your company, and what exactly did you want me to do about it for you?

I’m Invincible

I had breakfast with Matt on Saturday, and on our way back to my place, some lady fell asleep at the wheel and rear-ended us pretty hard. No screeching tires or anything to warn us of the impact, she just unexpectedly slammed into the back of us. We were in a big car (GMS Yukon thank God), stopped at a stop light and she hit us so hard that we hit the car in front of us hard enough that the car in front of us hit the car in front of them. Weeeee…. dominos! πŸ™‚

I took a picture of the lady’s car with my cell phone, but hopefully someone will send me a better picture of the car and I’ll post it.

Anyway, amazingly enough I feel fine. I was a little stiff the next morning (yesterday), but it just felt like I had a good day of hard snowboarding the day before or something. And today, I don’t even have that.

So I’m thinking maybe I’m invincible… no really. πŸ™‚

Random Email #20

Another random email (in it’s entirety)…

Wow, you are very unprofessional, I am sure that is why you sit at home with momy still at the age of 30 plus trying your best to run what you probably tell everyone is a business from your messy bedroom at momys house, I understand, I was there about 10 years ago, now I make over 200k annually. I doubt you will ever get there for the simple fact that you have no professionalism in your blood. Too bad for you. I own more than 8 successfull websites that pull in over 30k annually, I was considering advertising here during my marketing campaign, but you suck so that opportunity is gone for you. Ooops! ha, ha, let that digest for a few days, then get back to me mamas boy!

I can’t even think of anything to say about this one. But I *do* know it was cracking me up (really). heh

Although I must say… $200k/year is a truly amazing amount of income… πŸ˜‰

SBrain, Inc.

I was having lunch with Tom today and we started blabbing about something kind of funny…

You know how pretty much anything can be “traded” (stocks, bonds, resources, etc.)? It’s just all based on the perceived future value of something. So wouldn’t it be interesting to essentially issue shares of yourself. Shareholders would essentially own a percentage of whatever ideas/patents/products/income, etc. that you generate over your lifetime. Basically they would be buying part of you in the hopes that you do something cool in your life so they get some upside with their investment.

The funniest part would be to watch your stock go down when you leave the country on vacation or get sick, and then come back up when you are in the country and healthy. πŸ™‚

Who want’s to buy a piece of Shawn’s Brain? We’ll call it SBrain, Inc… 1 employee that can never be fired or quit. πŸ™‚

Random Email #19

Here’s one I got (in it’s entirety like always)…


Okay… I can understand someone hating my site… I’m sure he/she isn’t the only one. But This dude hates my site so much that he’s going to go milk his cow. Huh? That really will show me I guess. {shrug}

Random Email #18

I really would like to meet some of the people that are on the sending end of these emails. πŸ™‚

Iwon’t sex film

That’s the whole email… I don’t know why this dude (maybe a girl, I dunno) feels like they need to email me telling me they are not going to “have sex with a film”. I never asked them to, and I certainly wouldn’t recommend it. Would probably cause chaffing anyway, especially if it was VHS vs. DVD.

Random Email #16

Another random email I got today (in it’s entirety)…

please let me how can i hack a yahoo id?

Do I look like “Grand Master Hacker Shawn” or something? Why don’t you call Yahoo and ask them how to hack their whole site… then you can access all the Yahoo IDs you want.

3M Opticom 792 Emitter

If anyone is tossing and turning at night trying to figure out what to get me for my birthday (in September.. heh), here’s an excellent idea. An infrared emitter for emergency vehicles that will turn traffic lights green for you (that of course is a joke, I’m sure you can’t buy one… but it would be neat).

The 3MΓ’β€žΒ’ OpticomΓ’β€žΒ’ Priority Control System Model 792 Emitter is a compact, lightweight, weather resistant encoded signal device intended for use on priority and probe vehicles. The emitter is comprised of a flash-tube/reflector and housing assembly with an integral power supply and the required cables. Available models include: the Model 792H emitter – a high priority emitter; the Model 792L emitter – a low priority emitter; the 792T emitter – a low priority emitter equipped with a visible light filter; the Model 793R emitter – a range setting emitter for high priority, low priority, or probe frequency; the Model 792P emitter – a probe frequency emitter. The emitter converts 12 Volt DC vehicle battery power to the high voltage required for operation of the unit. Accessory switch devices are also available. The operation of the device may be customized through its interface software. The encoded signal pattern (comprised of the individual vehicle class code and vehicle identification number) generated by the emitter is determined after installation through the use of interface software. The emitter, when installed on authorized service and maintenance vehicles, may also be configured to utilize the Automated Signal Intensity Threshold setting feature of Series 700 Phase Selectors and Series 250/450 Discriminators. This feature refines and simplifies individual intersection setup and maintenance techniques. The emitter separates precisely timed pulses of high intensity light in the infrared and visible wavelengths at the base flash rate of approximately 10, 12, or 14 Hz. It also interleaves programmed encoded pulses that carry the vehicle class and ID number information. These energy pulses are sensed and processed by other Opticom system components to cause activation of the system. Model 792 emitters are programmed using the Model 790IS Emitter Software Kit.


Last Ninja: “Be Able To Kill Your Students”

This article is crap… this dude might BE a ninja, but he certainly isn’t the last. First of all, I’m a ninja (I completed my training already), and so is Bobby. So I know two ninjas without even looking for them.

The teachings of Grand Master Masaaki Hatsumi echo through my head as he entreats me to attack a blackbelted disciple with a practice sword. “Always be able to kill your students,” he says.

Chilling words from a shockingly fit 76-year-old man who bills himself as the world’s last ninja and stocks his training chamber with weapons such as throwing stars and nunchucks. Especially to a neophyte whose closest brush with martial arts was watching Bruce Lee matinees as a kid.

As I cautiously raise the sword with a taut two-handed samurai grip, my sparring partner gingerly points to Hatsumi. I avert my eyes for a split second – and WHAM! The next thing I know, I’m staring at the rafters.


Random Email #15

Another weird email… Am I getting more than normal??

Typed about 200 pages of text. Due to an addition of information, I need to remove these page numbers and re-assign new numbers. However, the page numbers are in a shaded or gray color, and I am finding it imposible to remove them. Any help would be appreciated. Thank you.

I’m starting to think that maybe everyone in the world thinks I know everything about everything, because I have no clue who this person is, and I certainly don’t have anything to do with laying out pages.

Random Email #14

Here’s a good one I got today. πŸ™‚

I want Admin password

That is the whole email. Obviously this person is a mastermind at social engineering and phishing. Thankfully I didn’t fall for it though. That was close… {phew!}

Random Email #12

Another good random email I got today…

i big to stat that my id password some body change then i want to get agian so now please kindly grant me there for sir i want guide me OR to get it for thank you.

What in the *hell* are you talking about dude?

Saint Patrick’s Day Pictures

Julien sent me a couple pictures from Saint Patrick’s Day, so I tossed them up in the photo gallery if anyone is really bored.

About to drink the foulest drink ever made.

This guy looks a lot like the guy that thrashed me at golf recently – gee, I look pretty serious too

“There is no such thing as fun for the whole family.” Bahahaha! Caught groping Julien, augh!

I might actually look better in Anne’s jacket than Anne does πŸ™‚ (maybe)


I just realized that Jessica is a thief. 1st picture I have a necklace and a hat. 2nd picture Jessica has the necklace. 3rd picture Jessica has the necklace *and* hat. WTF?? I bet if you searched her house, maybe you would find every pair of sunglasses that I ever “lost” in my life.

Random Email #8

This guy is lonely… πŸ™

I need true, real, good friend.

That’s the entire email… nothing else. Maybe if you would tell me a little about yourself, your desires in life or whatever else, I could be your one true, real, good friend.

Random Email #6

What the hell is this person sending me this for?

Have a list of Credit Card numbers, CVV numbers, phone numbers and addresses of American and British citizens. Have got these from BPOs. Let me know if youre interested.

Uhm… do I look like the credit card fraud auction center to you dude? I don’t even know what a BPO is. I don’t think you are allowed to use other people’s credit cards without their permission, so what good would a bunch of other people’s credit cards do for me? Nada.